Womanhood
by LeiaHestia
Summary: Alternate title: The Facts of Life. When Charity goes out of town for a few days, P.T. learns that he missed a few facts of life growing up, being raised only by his father... One-shot!


A/N: This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while now, and I'm finally satisfied (well, mostly) with how it came out on paper. Just a cute little one-shot!

Summary: When Charity goes out of town for a few days, P.T. learns that he missed a few facts of life growing up, being raised only by his father...

 **Womanhood**

It was just another day of rehearsal at Phineas Taylor Barnum's famous (or, to many, infamous) circus. Anne and W.D. soared above in the rafters, Tom Thumb put his horse through its paces, and Lettie was deep in discussion with Philip and P.T. about the final act in their next show.

Yes, everything was relatively normal - until P.T. came across his 12-year-old daughter, Caroline. The little girl looked to be near tears.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" P.T. was concerned. Both girls usually loved coming to the circus, especially today, since Charity been out of town for nearly a week visiting a friend.

Caroline, looking down at her feet, hesitated before whispering, "I'm bleeding." P.T. blanched and rushed to his daughter.

"Where?" he demanded urgently while checking her over from head to toe. "I don't see anything," he said after a minute. Caroline didn't say anything, but instead her gaze flashed from her feet, to her father, to Lettie, and then back to the floor. At that moment, a few things clicked in Lettie's head. Caroline's embarrassment. Charity's absence. The mood swings the normally sweet-tempered girl had been experiencing the past few days. She turned to Phillip.

"'Bye, Phillip," she said abruptly. He blinked.

"What?" Lettie made a shooing motion.

"Time for you to go." Her tone left no room for argument. Phillip was bemused but he only shrugged, "Okay, then." He had learned pretty quickly: if you didn't know what was going on and Charity, Lettie, or Anne told you do something, it was in your best interest to comply. Lettie turned towards the Wheeler siblings.

"Anne! Hey, Anne? Can you come down her a sec?'" Anne said something to her brother before gracefully swinging down from the rafters.

"What's going on, Lettie? P.T.?" Lettie stepped towards Anne and whispered something in her ear. The younger woman gave a small, "Oh!" of surprise before smiling kindly at P.T.'s daughter. "Come along, Caroline. You and I need to talk about something, okay?" Caroline took Anne's outstretched hand, and the pair of them walked away. Now thoroughly confused, P.T. turned to Lettie.

"What's going on?" Lettie smirked.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you don't know." P.T. rolled his eyes.

"You know something I don't know. Congratulations. Are you going to tell me, or not?"

"Well," Lettie began, "When a man and a woman love each other, very very much-" P.T. cut her off.

"I know how babies are born, Lettie. In case you haven't noticed, I have two daughters."

"Yes, but like most men, you don't know the full story of what _really_ goes on. I'm going to... _educate_ you, on what's wrong with Caroline." P.T.'s expression of bemusement turned to fear.

"There is something wrong, then?" he asked urgently. Lettie's expression softened.

"I'm sorry, I misspoke. There's nothing _wrong_ with Caroline. It's quite normal, in fact. Now, listen…"

P.T. listened. His confused expression gradually turned to amusement, and then, as he realized that Lettie wasn't having him on, horror. Most women would _never_ reveal the sort of details Lettie was giving to Barnum, not even to their husbands. But then, Lettie wasn't most women. After she had finished, P.T. stared ahead blankly in shock. After a minute he said,

"This happens to all women? You and Anne and Charity?"

"Yes. Well, maybe not _all_ women." Lettie changed her mind, considering. "There are women who don't, and who have trouble having children. And I think if a woman isn't getting enough to eat, that's another reason why it might not happen. But I would say _most_ women, yes."

"And you just continuously bleed for, what, five days?" he asked incredulously. Lettie laughed.

"More or less, yeah, but not the way you're envisioning. We'd all die of blood loss, otherwise." P.T. shook his head in bemusement. The two sat in silence for a few moments. P.T. was working up the courage to ask another question when he was interrupted by Caroline's horrified shriek:

"What do you _mean_ , this is going to happen every month!?"

* * *

When Charity returned to town the next day, she had been expected to be greeted enthusiastically. But, not quite like this.

"Never," Phineas exclaimed emphatically, "Never, _never_ go away again. Okay?" He hugged her tightly.

"I missed you, too, Phin," she replied bemusedly. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but…what exactly _happened_ while I was gone?" Her husband's mouth opened, but no words came out.

"Ask Lettie," he replied finally.

"But -?"

"I can't explain! Just ask Lettie!" Seeing the aforementioned bearded lady coming around the corner, P.T. made his escape.

"Gotta go!" Charity watched him go, shaking her head a little.

"Lettie," she called to the woman. Lettie looked up.

"What did you do to my husband while I was gone?"

Charity wasn't quite sure what to make of the wicked grin that crossed Lettie's face.

FIN

* * *

A/N: Lettie's condition, which I believe is most likely hirsutism, is caused by a hormone and sometimes insulin balance in the body. As such, I wasn't sure if woman with Lettie's condition would have regular menstrual cycles. From my internet research, it can depend on genetics, and many women with hirsutism are cautioned against pregnancy due to the high probability of birth defects and other complications.

I decided finally to take some artistic license and assume that Lettie would have typical menstrual cycles common to most women, simply because it's funnier to have _her_ explain the Facts of Life to Barnum, rather than Charity or Anne or whoever.

Anyway, continuity aside, I hoped you enjoyed!


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